EXPERIENCE

There was a time when I believed in fairy-tale love -- you know, romance and joy, prince and princess ... and even a tiara.  Royal-family warmth, dinnertime chats, hugs and kisses before sweet dreams each night.  And I grew to learn that, though there are fairy-tale moments, love is challenging.  Sometimes it is cold.  Love is to stay when everything around me shouts, "GO" yet a tiny inner voice whispers "no, linger here and learn."  And it is to go when I have promised to stay, and everything around me falls away leaving no other option but to step forward to a new lesson.  It is through relationships that I have learned about my self.  Through interacting with family and friends, I have recognized weaknesses so I could then begin to strengthen myself or understand and accept my limits.  I have found my talents and embraced them.  Thus, I have enriched my understanding of others, too.  The lesson plan seems to be unique for each person, and the dynamics have infinite twists, while common threads weave through all - patience, acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness, boundaries, compromise, negotiation, etc.  So much more to learn.

OBSERVATION

I watched as a couple entered the market.  Well past retirement, white hair whipped by the breeze, the man escorted the woman across the parking lot and in through the automatic doors.  They moved gracefully together, as if stepping to the beat of a song they heard in their hearts and in a dance they had choreographed over a lifetime.  I wondered about their story.  What brought joy, pain, challenge, support, laughter, tears... what threatened to shatter them apart? what glued them together? and I imagined a wonderful novel.  I believe each of us has at least one.   

ADVICE

Look at many sides of the situation...  To an inchworm, the cocoon is the end of life; while to the butterfly, it is the beginning. 

TILT (This I Learned Today)

According to an article I found through www.FamilyManagement.com, "Talking with, listening to, and solving problems with our children takes time and patience. Through these activities we help our children become confident and caring adults. While it may not always be easy to patiently listen to children or work through problems, it's well worth the effort."  It seems to me this could apply to any relationship ... ie:  Talking with, listening to, and solving problems with our friends/spouses/children takes time and patience. Through these activities we help our friends/spouses/children become confident and caring. While it may not always be easy to patiently listen to anyone or work through problems, it's well worth the effort.  

Become thoughtful and sensitive to another's feelings even when you don't feel like it.

AND A COUPLE OTHER THINGS

  I got a newsletter from a website with advice for spouses (the ultimate intimate relationship we choose, through which we may find growth).  The site is called www.marriagebuilders.com and it offers a variety of tools, information and a newsletter addressing issues of coupledom.  Some of the concepts might even apply to navigating other relationships, friendships, etc.  Check it out - some good fodder for rumination.

As you can see, this week has been all about communicating, nurturing relationships, and reflecting on the effects of others in my life.  There was Father's Day, and then a visit from a relative.  And I noticed how I enjoyed listening and learning when I unplugged all expectation, and when I made time to be available so.  Sometimes words are limiting when I hope to express without writing a tome... Suffice it to say, I hope you can hear the voices between the lines.

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